Sexuality Essay feedback

Highest mark  26/50  (D3)
Lowest mark 5/50  (U)

-shocking results!
-you could realistically fail the exam if you don't improve your efforts and understanding!


TOP TARGETS
-introduction:   In the extract "______________"  ("fingersmiths") , the technical features are combined to construct the representation of _____________ (sexuality).

-need to write more - should be 3 pages minimum (45 minutes!!)
-remember the essay is focused about the representation of sexuality
(how is sexuality shown?)
(how is sexuality portrayed?)

-think about stereotypes about sexuality:
females:  more emotional, romantic
males: more aggressive and demanding
homosexuality: back then, it was not acceptable, therefore people had to hide their inner desires/feelings


-not enough detail is being shown in your notes - make more effort and GET AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
-need more terminology
-PEAL paragraphs - some people still writing randomly

Point:  how is sexuality represented through the characters?  The character's sexuality is represented as .......  OR The character is represented as ________

Example of what you could have written about: 

Sentence starter (start scenes like this) : Scene one opens in an old victorian room with 2 female characters.  A brunette character is placed behind a blonde character helping her with her dress.

Point: The brunette character is portrayed to be longing for the blonde woman.  (point)

Evidence:  
CAM SAM: mid and close up shots  (to see their facial expression), stedy camera movement to keep it still/gentle/calm
MES: facial expression: she stares at her with longing in her eyes, helps her/serves her, both dressed feminine, their relationship shows they have a bond (as women helped dress other women back then)  but then she looks down as though she is depressed (perhaps can't be with her?)
EDITING: slow pace (the shots are long to make the atmosphere calm/gentle) continuity editing (180 degree rule obeyed, shot reverse shot and eyeline match to reveal front and back - so you can see her reactions (understand her feelings - ties in with close up/facial expression)  ***if you can't link to representation just identify it and explain how it is applied.
SOUND:  diegetic voiceover says 'she looked beautiful', soft romantic non-diegetic score music with low volume control (reinforcing gentle atmosphere)

Link:  reinforced stereotypes of gay people in olden days having to hide their sexuality because it was unacceptable back then.  OR/ALSO - reinforces stereotypes of women being very caring and gentle in their sexuality  (they are usually very caring with a person they want to be with)   (men are usually demanding and upfront/blunt/aggressive)



If you are really struggling with representation just write essay in following structure:

OPTION 2  (level 2/3)

1) introduction

2) scene 1 - explain the CAM SAM,    MES,    EDITING,    &   SOUND.  how are they applied?  (don't just list off key terms)
*try to make some comment which talks about how characters are portrayed (linked with topic)

3) scene 2 - same

4)  scene 3 - same 


OPTION 3  (level 2)

1) introduction

2) CAM SAM -  how do they apply the techniques?  why do they apply them?  how are the techniques different in each scene?   (3 examples)
*if you can - how do the CAM SAMC link to how characters are represented (essay topic)

3) MES - same 

4)  EDITING - same 

5)  SOUND - same